It's like God shit irony all over that family
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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