4 words: hood of his car
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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