I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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