Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
