I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
