i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize