Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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