Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
