you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
