We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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