girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Green mimosas i think yes
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
