I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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