If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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