Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
