babies were throwing up all over the place
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
