I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
