What a fucking waste of an outfit
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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