The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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