I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
