I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
