Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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