I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
