what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
