He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
