HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Randomize
