Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I skipped work to stalk him.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize