um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
