I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
