I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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