I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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