i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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