Your face is a jimmy john
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
