her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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