My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
