I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
