We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
do herpes really smell.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
