Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
