I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
we should paint friendship bongs
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