you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i love accidental penises.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
But we have bathrooms and they dont
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize