i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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