My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
