You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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