Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
