Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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