before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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