Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
