left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
