Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
