i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
