just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
So much Jack, so little girl.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Let the clothes fall where they may.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
