He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
