the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It's shark week go big or go home
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize