everyone is single if you try hard enough
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
