Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
