he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
