I wish I could punch you in the face.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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