do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
