I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
