I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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