3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
