All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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