Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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