I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Holy sore nipples Batman
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
