the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
