I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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