I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
