So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
