He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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